A couple years ago I came up with an idea for a musical based on my experience working in a pizza kitchen called, The Incompetence of Others. I only wrote a handful of songs before I got distracted and never returned to it. This is one of the demos I recorded for it called, “Three Sides of Ranch.” I don’t know what it’s like in other states, but people in Oklahoma fucking love ranch. We have small salads that some people pour six ounces of ranch over and pretend they’re eating healthy. Anyway, here’s the song.

THREE SIDES OF RANCH

All I want are three sides of ranch
And a side of salad today
I don’t mind if there’s tomatoes in the ranch
But the black olives just get in my way

If I could drown myself
In the dressing of my choice
I know what I would pick
I would pick ranch
I know what I would pick
I would pick ranch

Honey mustard’s for women and old men
Never been a fan of blue cheese
OV Italian makes me want to gag
The French can take their dressing and shove it up their
   ass

When Jesus wants a salad
He always gets ranch
I walk with Jesus so
I will get ranch
I’ve always walked with Jesus so
I will get ranch

     copyright 2007 GriffMusic